Duality
by amockorange
Summary: Jennifer's Body without the death and destruction.
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing unfortunately...However, I'm planning on making this in to a much longer story, so let me know what you think.**

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**Duality**

I guess I first started to feel really uneasy about the whole situation when I noticed the look on Jennifer's face as she was standing there holding my hand and star gazing at Nikolai. She'd completely ignored what I'd just told her about Low Shoulder being a bunch of perverted jerks, instead opting to practically throw herself at the evil looking lead singer. There was something seriously off about these guys, but before I could think about it anymore, they'd launched in to some tacky, yet I suppose ultimately catchy ballad and Jennifer had taken hold of my hand, which left me standing, looking between her and them and wondering what the hell was going on.

After realizing Jennifer hadn't taken in anything that I'd told her, I dropped her hand out of disappointment; I knew something wasn't right and it hurt that Jennifer would go on like everything was peachy. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a flash of bright colour and turned to see flames spreading out from Low Shoulder's electrics, growing quickly to fan out along the beams lining the ceiling of Melody Lane. I stood rooted to the spot as I watched countless people being trampled or burned, sometimes both. I couldn't stand to see it anymore, and out of a desire to not die in a human spit roast and become tomorrow's cover story, I grabbed Jennifer's hand and dragged her through to the only place I knew wouldn't be choked with broken and smouldering bodies. Clambering out the toilet window and still holding on to Jennifer, we stumbled far enough away from the now raging inferno to be safe from its flames, but even from a distance, the heat was still unbearable. Jennifer slumped to the ground, pulling me down with her, her face telling me she was in shock from what we'd just escaped from. She sat there, saying nothing and just when it looked like she finally would, Nikolai appeared out of nowhere, looking for all the world that he had not just been through what we had, and suggesting that we join him in his van.

'What?' I mean really, had he seriously just asked that? I might be too old to worry about it much anymore, but all that 'stranger danger' stuff I'd learned when I was kid seemed like it might finally be useful right about now.

'I'm in survival mode right now and I want us to get in to a familiar place and right now, I feel like that's my van', Nikolai replied matter of factly, clearly not bothered by what was going on around us. Sure, more like 'you girls seem innocent and vulnerable, why don't you come join me in my Chester mobile' mode. Jennifer was clearly in no position to be making decisions for herself, and before I could say anything, Nikolai had her on her feet, leading her towards his van. This guy was a real creeper and I knew I'd never forgive myself if I let Jennifer go with him and become pervert prey, so I sucked up all the anger I felt towards him and the situation we were in and started to follow them.

'I wouldn't go any further if I were you', I said as calmly as I could.

'Or else what, Jan Brady, you'll sprinkle magic dust on me to make me disappear?' Nikolai smirked and I could hear the rest of the band laughing behind him. Yep, this jerk-off was definitely going down.

'I would if I had any, but I think I've got something that'll work much better. My dad's a cop, he pretty much runs Devil's Kettle, and when he finds out you've kidnapped his little princess's best friend, well let's put it this way, I really wouldn't want to be you'. None of that was true of course; before he died, the closest my dad had come to being in the force was as part of a cleaning company that looked after the local station. Yeah, the truth hurts, but lies work.

I knew I'd won when I saw Nikolai's smirk fall into a frown, a look of fear plastered on his weedy face. 'Come on, there's no need for that. I was just trying to be helpful', and with that, he dropped Jennifer's hand and wheeled away from us to walk back to his van and his gawking band mates who were all leaning out of it, trying to hear what was going on. As I ran up to Jennifer, I heard Nikolai mutter something that sounded a lot like 'Bitch, more trouble than they're worth', and I turned to watch the van screech out of the parking lot, which by now was starting to become filled with sounds of sirens that were almost loud enough to drown out the fading screams and crackling flames. I turned back to Jennifer, took hold of her hand and smiled at her as I lead her towards the Sebring and out of the hellhole that had opened up around us.

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The drive back to mine passed in silence; I guessed Jennifer was still too freaked out over what had happened to talk. By the time we'd trudged up the stairs to my room though, she still hadn't said anything and I was starting to get a little weirded out myself, I mean, what if something was seriously wrong with her, like she'd somehow lost the ability to talk forever. I chuckled at that, maybe sometimes having a silent Jennifer around wouldn't be such a bad thing. Once in my room, Jennifer went to sit on my bed as I went to find something smoke and ash free for us to wear. I settled on my Evil Dead t-shirt and a pair of pyjama bottoms, and gave Jennifer some sweats and one of my nicer hoodies. I turned around to change and caught sight of a picture of Chip that I keep next to my computer and made a mental note to call him first thing in the morning. As I pulled the t-shirt over my head, I swore that I heard Jennifer mumble something, but when I turned to face her again, she was back sitting on my bed, staring at her feet.

'What was that Vagasil?' I asked as I went to sit next to her, and as I did, she lifted her smoke stained face and I saw the tracks left by her mascara as it mixed with tears and ran down her cheeks.

'Oh Jen, you're alright now, you're okay'. I pulled her in to a hug and as she settled in against my shoulder, I felt her body shake with sobs that I knew she was trying to hold back. As we sat there, I thought back over our friendship and how ever since the incident with the tack in the sandbox, Jen would always hide her pain, no matter how big or small it might've been, but I always saw through the wall she built around herself. I know that people can't understand why Jen and I are friends and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't wondered about it too, but to be honest, we've been best friends for so long and gone through so much together that I don't bother worrying about it anymore, it just is. Sure, I might seem like the ever-eager Needy, following her superior friend around, but what friends don't help each other out? Jennifer stayed at my house every night for a week after my dad died, just holding me while I cried; people don't notice those things though, they only see the Jen she's created for public life. I don't deny that Jen can be a bitch, I mean, I've been on the end of some pretty harsh digs, but the times when we're together, when it's just us, make me forget all about those moments. I've given up on wondering whether she's just friends with me to further her own means, whatever they may be, because honestly, for someone like her, it's social suicide to be seen associating with someone of my lowly status, and it clearly hasn't done either of us any harm. Our friendship isn't perfect, but hey, it works.

After a while, I felt Jen stir against my shoulder and I turned to see her looking me right in the eyes. Her gaze was so intense it was a little off-putting and I felt myself back away from her ever so slightly. 'Hey-' I began, but she shook her head, indicating to me that it was her time to take the floor.

'Thanks for what you did back there Monistat. Really. I mean without you, all this,' she gestured to her body, 'would've ended up as a char-grilled happy meal for some wild animals or cannibal psychos or something'. I smiled at that, only Jennifer could put such an _interesting_ spin on things.

I went to speak, but again she silenced me with a finger pressed gently to my lips. 'No, let me finish Needy. I need to get this out.' I nodded my understanding and let her continue. 'I know I haven't always been a great friend to you, God only knows why you've put up with me for so long after some of the shit I've pulled. You're so good to me, and I don't deserve half of what you do for me. You understand me the way no one else in this smear of a town does, you care about me for me, not for what I can give you. To be honest, I'm kind of jealous of you, you've got the one thing I don't have, and it's what I want more than anything else. I want what you and Chip have, that lovey-dovey, head over heels, sickly sweet thing that I pretend makes me sick. You know better than anyone that I've got a love inside me that I want to share with someone, but the guys around here are only interested in my body, not what's on the inside…'

Jennifer trailed off and I just sat there, too stunned to speak. She had never opened up to me like this before and it caught me a little off guard. I wiped away a tear that was beginning to make its way down my cheek and pulled her into my arms again. 'Jen, what kind of friend would I be if I left you with those creeps? I'd never forgive myself if something bad happened to you; besides Chip, you're the best thing I've got going around here'.

Jennifer pulled back from me and she had that same intense look in her eyes that she'd had earlier, only this time it was like she was looking at me like I was something to eat. She began to move slowly closer to me, keeping her eyes fixed on mine, apart from a brief moment where I'm sure her gaze flickered to my lips. I quirked my eyebrow at her as she placed her hand on my cheek and began rubbing small circles there with her thumb, before slowly dragging a finger along my jaw and down the column of my neck, leaving a blazing trail as it passed before coming to rest on my collarbone.

'Jen, what're you do-', but again Jennifer cut me off.

'Shh, don't talk, just feel', she whispered against my ear, her warm breath sending a shiver throughout my body. As she moved back to face me, her lips were almost touching my own and my heart was thundering in my chest as she closed the gap between us with agonising slowness. The kiss was hesitant at first, but quickly grew in to something much more fierce. I placed my hand on Jen's shoulder and pushed her back so we were lying on my bed, and I felt her hands ghost over the small of my back where my shirt had ridden up. Something inside me was telling me that this probably shouldn't have been happening, but right now I couldn't care less. We'd never done this before, I'd never even thought about it, but I found myself wondering why we hadn't done it sooner, it just felt oh so right. Sure I've noticed Jennifer's looks, I'd be pretty blind not to, but having said that, she'd never had the effect on me that she was having right now. All I could think of was her, and as much as I knew this probably shouldn't be going on, I needed to hear from Jennifer why it was.

I broke the kiss and looked in to her eyes, and as clichéd as it sounds, it was like I could see straight through their sapphire depths and in to her soul. I knew then, even without asking, that she needed this, she needed me. She needed me to be there for her, to laugh with her; care for her and to love her; and to be honest, I needed this too. We might be total opposites, but in some weird, universe-aligning way, we complete each other in ways no body else possibly could. I felt like I had to say something, and so I said the only words I felt confident I could deliver without sounding like a sped and ruining the moment.

'I love you', I said, knowing that I truly meant it. For a moment I wasn't sure if Jen heard me, or if she did and didn't care, but before I could say anything else, she spoke.

'Ditto Needs, you got me', and with that she took hold of my hand and placed it on her chest, just above her rapidly beating heart, 'right here'. She spoke with a sincerity that I'd never known her to have and again brought her lips up to meet mine. As our kiss deepened with ever increasing passion, my eyes welled with tears and I smiled inwardly as I came to the realisation that this was a sandbox love that would never die.

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**So there it is, hope you liked it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**And now presenting Chapter Two! This is from Jennifer's point of view, at this stage I'll keep alternating, but they won't always be about the same thing.**

Needy's room was almost too warm to be comfortable, but I figured that was only because I was currently experiencing a severe case of chilled-to-the-fucking-bone. I mean, who wouldn't be freezing their ass off after standing outside for God knows how long, watching the only half decent place to go in town burn to the ground? I don't remember much of what happened back at Melody Lane, but I do know that I almost let myself be led away by that twisted lead singer and his band mates, who now when I think about, would probably never have been man enough for me anyway. I smirked, knowing that Low Shoulder left empty handed; yep, not just anyone can have me. The one thing that sticks most clearly in my mind though, is that rush that I got from holding Needy's hand; it wasn't like anything I'd ever felt before and looking down at my hands that were crossed in my lap, I could swear that I could still feel the warmth that her hand had left behind in mine.

I hadn't spoken the entire time we'd been in Needy's room, I only sat on her bed while she rifled through her clothes for something suitable to wear and tried not to let her know that I was crying. While I was waiting, everything that happened earlier tonight suddenly came rushing up on me and I knew then that if it wasn't for Needy, I'd probably be a seriously messed up piece of ass right about now. Once Needy came over and handed me some clothes to wear that didn't look like something her grandmother had previously owned, I knew I had to say something, but I'd been quiet for so long that that my voice came out more like a croak, somehow though, she still heard me.

'What was that Vagasil?' she asked as she came to sit next to me, and I figured there's no way to hide the tears from her now. I lifted my face to look at her and I noticed something like sympathy flash across her eyes as she took me in to her arms. With her holding me like that I couldn't help but let go, and as we sat there, I let my thoughts drift to our friendship. I know that Needy has had her doubts about us and with the way I treat her sometimes, I'm not surprised. When I first started to notice the affect that my body and looks had on some people, and by that I mean the dick-focused morsels around here, I was smart enough to realise that I could pretty much make people do whatever I wanted. Of course, for them it was all in the hope of getting a little closer to the one and only Jennifer Check, something that didn't happen for a lot of the less salty guys, poor them. It didn't take long for me to realise that all anyone was after was my body, and it made me wonder what was wrong with the rest of me. It really cut me up inside and Needy was always there to make it better with a hug or a joke about how lame the guys of Devil's Kettle really are and how much better we are than this shithole. So eventually, I built a wall of false confidence around myself and turned myself into the girl people either love or love to hate, and it works so well that it hardly ever falls down.

I'm not going to lie and say I'm Little Miss Perfect in private, but I'm definitely not as full-on as I am when I'm in public and the worst thing about practically having two sides to myself is that it sometimes gets hard for me to flick off the bitch-switch. I've just been that person for so long now and most of the time, Needy gets caught in the crossfire. At the time, I almost don't care if she's getting hurt by the things I'm saying to her, I guess we've been biffs for so long that I figure she can take it; afterwards though, I feel terrible and I always come crawling back, begging her forgiveness and swearing I'll never do it again. You'd almost think she'd be on some sort of power trip after all the grovelling I've done, but she's never come close; to her, friendship means everything and she's always ready to forgive and forget. I've lost count of how many promises like that I've made and broken to her, but after tonight, it's all going to stop. Needy's friendship is worth more to me than anything else and the fucked-up thing is that it took her saving my life for me to finally realise that.

I don't know how long we'd been sitting like that, but Needy's room began to feel really warm again and I had to pull away from her to get some air flowing around me and realised I had to speak up to her now or forever hold my peace. For someone who usually has no trouble when it comes to talking about _anything_, suddenly the idea of thanking my best friend for literally saving my ass was really difficult. I sucked in a breath, looked Needy right in the eye and said, 'Thanks for what you did back there Monistat. Really. I mean without you, all this would've ended up as a char-grilled happy meal for some wild animals or cannibal psychos or something'. I saw Needy's lips curl in to a smile as she took in what I'd said. I may've almost been abducted by a bunch of weedy jerks, but I sure as hell wasn't going to let that get in the way of me trying to lighten the mood in here a bit. I say exactly what I think and feel and that'll never change, I've tried filtering before and it makes life just so goddamn boring, especially in a place as shitty as this.

Needy tried to speak; I guessed she was going to say something along the lines of 'Oh Jen it's fine, it's what biffs do right?' I couldn't let her talk without finishing what I was going to say first though. This had all been building up inside of me for so long and I knew that now was probably the best chance I was ever going to get to break down my wall completely and let myself out and Needy in. I gently pressed a finger to her lips, letting her know that it was my time to talk now and as I did, I felt something like a spark pass between us. I couldn't explain it and it didn't look like Needy had noticed it, so I just let it slide and went on talking. I spoke about how much I just wanted someone to be interested in me for who I am, and not just for my body. Sure, I get my kicks out of knowing people love looking at me, but after a while, it starts to get seriously repetitive. While I was talking, it was like the warmth from Needy's room was starting to spread throughout my body and it started to freak me out a little bit. Sure I'd been really cold after what happened earlier, but I'd been inside long enough to be warmed up from that. The feeling I was getting now was almost like I was running a fever, except for the fact that I felt perfectly fine. Needless to say, I'd never felt anything like it before and it was starting to really mess with me, but as weird as it sounds to say, it was almost as if being around Needy was making me feel this way.

I heard her say something about how she never would've forgiven herself if she left me there, but I was focusing more on her face and the beating of my heart than her words. I felt myself moving closer to her and I lifted my hand to let it rest on her cheek, and again felt that spark pass between us, only this time, I knew for sure that Needy had felt it too. I didn't really know or care what was going on, but something was drawing me closer to her and I didn't want it to stop. I moved myself so that our heads were practically touching, with my lips against her ear and I felt her shudder as I whispered in to it. I moved back to face her and found her looking at me with a questioning look, but right now, I couldn't tell her that this was all as new to me as it was to her, all I could think of was how her lips would feel against mine. I slowly closed the gap between us, I guess so neither of us would get too freaked out by what was going on and decide to stop, but when our lips met, all of that was forgotten, it was only Needy and I in the warmth and safety of her room, everything else that happened tonight gone from my thoughts.

As our kiss intensified, it was like I could feel every emotion that had built up throughout the years of our friendship pouring out around us. Happiness, anger, guilt, joy, jealousy and love were all combining with so much force that I was almost finding it hard to breathe. I was grateful when Needy broke the kiss and pulled away from me so I could gulp in some air, though I immediately missed the contact between us. All I could think about was her, and as she was looking at me with that caring look of hers, I came to realise that everything I'd said earlier about looking for someone who wanted me for me, had been about her. I need her in my life, she's the one person that understands me and that actually cares about me and I'd do anything to show her just how much she means to me. It's like fate or some other cosmic crap like that brought us together in the days of the sandbox, but I don't think either of us would've guessed it'd turn out like this. I didn't think that just saying 'I love you' would be deep enough for this current situation, so I took hold of Needy's hand and placed it over my heart just so she could feel what she was doing to me.

I wasn't quite sure where we were heading with all this, but as Needy's lips met mine again, I knew we wouldn't be finishing up any time soon. I felt Needy's fingers sweep a stray strand of hair behind my ear before coming to a rest on my shoulder and I could tell she was nervous; after all, you don't spend most of your life being best friends with someone without getting to know at least part of what they're feeling. I smiled, knowing that I was going to have to take charge and thought about how appropriate it was that I'd be the one doing the seducing, despite all I'd said about wanting to be known for more than my sex appeal. I shimmied a little further up her bed, dragging Needy along with me and rested my head on one of her many pillows. Another silence had developed between us, but this one was much more comfortable, for me at least, Needy just sat there, looking like she'd rather be anywhere but here with me.

'Needy, what's wrong? Come lie next to me, I'm not going bite you', I propped myself up on my elbows and smiled at her, trying to get her to loosen up a bit, I wasn't ready for the mood to die just yet.

'I know that Jen, it's just that, you know, you're my best friend and all and then there's Chip…' she trailed off and looked away from me as my mood darkened a little and I rolled my eyes. I should've figured that good ol' Chipper would've been brought up sooner or later, but was it so bad for me to want this night to be about Needy and I?

'Don't worry about him right now Needs; let's just have tonight okay? I promise we can talk all about it in the morning, but first, I've got something I want to show you and I think you'll enjoy it. A lot'. I smiled what I hoped would be my most seductive smile at her, but quickly let it soften, I didn't want to come on too hard too fast and scare her off. Needy nodded her approval for me to continue and I lay back down, gently pulling her with me and positioned us so that we were on our sides, facing each other.

'Just let me know if any of this is too much for you and I'll stop; this is a first for me too, so it'll be just like discovering uncharted territory you know?' I knew that Needy and Chip had done the deed, but from what she had told me, they also weren't very adventurous, and that was something I planned to change. I brushed my fingers gently across her cheek as my lips met hers again and my heart swelled when she kissed me back. Like I'd done before, I trailed my finger down her neck to her collarbone, only this time, I kept going until I reached the fabric of her t-shirt. It was my turn to be nervous as Needy looked at me, letting me know that it was okay to keep going. I slid my hand down her stomach and felt the muscles there twitch under my touch as I took hold of the hem of her shirt. Needy sat up and removed her glasses as she tugged it over her head, her hair falling in a wild mess around her shoulders.

'Um Jen, I don't mean to be rude, but shouldn't we try and keep up in the clothing removal stakes? I mean, it's not really fair that I'm sitting here all exposed while you're practically being a puritan'. Needy smirked and I had to admit that she surprised me a little with the way she spoke and I hoped that she would keep it up.

'You're right there A-ni-ta', she pretty much hated her real name, she'd just been Needy for so long and I drew it out purely to annoy her. 'I am wearing way too much clothing, but it's what you gave me so you can't complain. I might just need your help getting out of them that's all'. Needy clearly wasn't as shocked by my words as I was by hers, after all, she'd heard me talk like this pretty much every day for the last few years. I took hold of the zipper on the hoodie and slowly pulled it down before finally taking it off and I noticed Needy's eyes fall to my chest and watched as a blush lit up her face.

'Better?' I asked, already liking the effect I was having on her.

'Much', and this time it was Needy who closed the space between us, pushing her body flat against mine and now it was my turn to blush. I tangled one hand in her hair and let the other one fall to her waist and ran it teasingly along the waistband of her pyjama bottoms as Needy drew her fingers up my back in slow strokes before coming to rest on the hooks of my bra. Knowing that it was what we both wanted, I sat up and began to undo it, but Needy's hands stilled my own as she leant her head on my shoulder and reached around to unclasp the bra, before moving back to watch me take it off completely. I watched her as she took me in, and again I felt a blush creep up my face.

'God, you're beautiful', Needy breathed out, and I decided to play with her a little, knowing how she is in moments that are meant to be all serious.

'What, not salty?' I quizzed, and my breath quickened when I saw the lust in her eyes and heard it in her voice.

'Jen, you're so much better than that and I'll do whatever I have to just to show you'. Tears welled in my eyes and I realised that tonight was going to be full of a lot of firsts for both of us. I lay back down and watched through heavily lidded eyes as Needy removed her own bra and lay herself back down next to me, with one arm resting across my stomach and the other propping up her head so that we could see each other better. With tantalising slowness, Needy moved her hand up to my breast and I felt her trembling fingers as they brushed across my nipple, the movement slight, but enough to make it grow hard under her touch. I whimpered in to her mouth and reached up to wind a hand through her hair, while I placed the other in the valley between her breasts and began to slowly drag my finger from one nipple to the other, loving the feeling of her writhing just from me touching her like this. From the noises Needy was making, I guessed she wanted more than what we were currently doing, and knowing that I sure as hell did, I decided to step up the pace a little. I rolled us over so that I was on top, one leg draped between Needy's parted thighs and the hand that was on her breasts inching its ways towards the waistband of her pants. I looked up at her quickly for the okay to continue and I didn't bother to wait for a reply when I saw that her eyes were tightly closed; I closed my fingers around the elastic of both the pyjamas and her panties and pulled them down together.

Looking at her completely naked like that, I thought how beautiful she was. Needy has the kind of pale skin that people go crazy for, the one that practically glows in the right light, like now. There's no real point in telling her that though, not now anyway. She'd just figure that I'm saying it to butter her up and while that's not true, I can't blame her for thinking it. I'll just let my actions do all the talking for now. She opened her eyes as I removed the rest of my clothes and reached out a hand to me. I lay back down, moaning a little at the feeling of her naked body against me, once again putting my leg between her open thigh, only this time I pushed against her, making her breathe out my name. Moving my hand down lower, I placed my fingers in the heat of her core and could already feel how wet she was and all I could think was _fuck, that's all for me!_ I could tell that she was ready for me, so without wasting any more time, I plunged a finger in to her as she let out a groan and caught her bottom lip between her teeth and I decided it was the single sexiest thing I'd ever seen.

'Jennifer! Shit, I, oh God-' was all she could manage to get out, but I didn't even need to hear that, her body was telling me all I needed to know. As I added another finger and moved my palm over her clit, she began to grind in to my hand, creating more friction for herself and I knew she wouldn't last long. I kissed my way from her lips to her chest, taking each nipple in my mouth, biting down a little, making her hiss. Needy's left hand was clutching at her sheets and her right was currently making its way between my legs, but I was already worked up enough and I knew I wouldn't be able to focus on both of our hands at the same time, so I whispered to her to stop.

'Don't wear yourself out Needs, we've got all tomorrow morning', I winked at her and curled my fingers in her, making her moan and push down even harder on my hand. Her thrusts got faster and my fingers pumped harder, both of us working to bring her over the edge. I felt her clench around me and I knew she was gone and I watched her face as it twisted in pleasure, my name falling from her lips. I kissed her as she came down from her high and pulled the blankets over us as she snuggled in to my shoulder. She yawned once and it didn't take long for her to fall asleep after that; knowing that I wouldn't be far off, I wrapped my arms tighter around her and whispered 'I love you' in to her hair as I rested my head next to hers. Even though she was sleeping, just before I closed my own eyes, I could swear that a small smile played on her lips and I drifted off wondering what I'd done to deserve having Needy in my life.

**There you go! Hope you liked it. I've got a pretty good idea of where the next chapter will be going, but I'd love to hear what you think and I'm always open to suggestions. Thanks for the reviews too!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three has arrived! I feel like this is really just starting to take shape and I'm happy with where it's going, I hope you guys are too! Many thanks to all of you out there who are reviewing, do not underestimate their power to inspire.**

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I woke up to the steady rhythm of Jennifer's warm breath on my neck and the weight of her arm across my stomach and smiled as I remembered everything that happened last night, reminding myself to talk to her about it once she was awake. I also remembered that we'd fallen asleep once Jennifer was done with me and knowing her, I was pretty certain she'd complain about how horny she was at the first chance she got and decided that I'd prefer not having to deal with a crabby Jennifer so early in the day. Easing myself out of her embrace, I positioned myself above her, gasping as the blanket slipped off me and I was exposed to the cool morning air of my room. I placed a quick kiss on her cheek and felt her stir under me, clearly struggling against waking up and despite the dirty thoughts currently running through my mind, I couldn't stop my heart swelling at the sight of Jennifer asleep in my bed, her dark hair cast in a shimmering halo by the thin strip of light that was creeping its way across my room. I looked at her long enough to make sure that the image was burnt in to my memory before laying myself down and pulling the blankets over us, blocking out the light and creating a cocoon where the only things that existed were our warm, naked bodies and the sounds of our breaths, Jennifer's still steady in sleep and mine rapidly increasing, no matter how much I tried to stay calm.

Kissing my way down her neck to her stomach, I heard her breathing change and knew she was awake, though it was obvious she was pretending she was still sleeping, for my benefit I guessed. Awake or not, nothing was going to stop me returning the favour and without waiting any longer, I plunged two fingers in to her, looking up at her in time to see her eyes fly open at the sudden movement.

'I knew you were awake!' I smirked at her, knowing it would only wind her up. Jennifer glared at me and at any other time I probably would've given in to her, but not anymore; I could feel that she wanted this and I wasn't going to back down.

'Christ Needs, give a girl a warning before you wake her up like that', I supposed she was trying to be angry with me, but it certainly wasn't working. I was in control right now and she knew it. I began moving my fingers inside her and moved up to kiss her, dragging my tongue along her bottom lip before slipping it in to her mouth, letting it tangle with her own. I increased my pace, causing Jennifer to let out a moan that vibrated throughout both our bodies. I could tell she was getting close when she began to grind on to my hand and not wanting this to be over so soon, I slowed down a little, earning another moan from Jennifer, only this time out of frustration.

'Needy come on, stop teasing, you're killing me. I'm so fucking close!' her voice was all ragged as she panted out the words and I smiled at the fact that I was the one bringing her undone. I decided that I'd made her wait long enough and pulling away from her so that I was kneeling between her legs, I told her to sit up. As she wrapped one arm around my neck and placed the other behind her for support, I pulled her closer to me and pushed my fingers in to her again, the new angle we'd created causing them to hit her over and over again in that one spot that had her quickly falling over the edge. As she clenched around me, she threw her head back and I heard my name fall from her parted lips, mixed in with every swear word under the sun. Jennifer flopped back on the bed, her chest heaving and her breathing short and I couldn't help but laugh as I lay back down next to her. She looked over at me, her eyes narrowed in what I could tell was a mock glare.

'What?' she questioned, clearly trying not to laugh herself.

'Nothing, Jen. Well apart from the fact that I pretty successfully jumped your bones!' I was pleased with myself and I wasn't going to hide it.

'That you did Monistat. I'm proud of you!' and with that, Jennifer planted a kiss on my lips, pulling me against her as she did. 'By the way, where'd you learn to use your hands like that? You're the most un-co person I know, you can't even get through gym class without fucking up big time'.

'Well let's just say I've had a lot of practice', I blushed at my words, I hardly talk about this kind of stuff, not even with Jennifer and when I do, she has to force it out of me somehow. Jen's a different story though, it's like she's got serious verbal diahorrea when it comes to anything to do with sex and not even me walking out of the room will stop her. It's one way for her to get her kicks though, she knows how much it annoys me, so most of the time I just try to block it out.

'And by that you mean Chip doesn't satisfy you, so you have to take matters in to your own hands,' and to punctuate her words, Jennifer rubbed her own hand against me, creating a friction that I tried hard to ignore. 'Did I satisfy you last night? Her voice was heavy with lust as she began to kiss me, increasing the pressure of her hand as she did so. Willing myself to focus my thoughts in spite of Jennifer's current movements, I managed to get myself together enough to speak.

'Actually, I want to talk to you about last night Jen. Don't worry, it's nothing bad'. I gently pushed her away from me so that I could get up to put some clothes on, rushing around in the cold to find what I was wearing last night. Throwing them on, I passed Jennifer hers and sat back on the bed, motioning for her to join me once she was dressed.

'Okay Needy, what's up?' Jen asked as she sat next to me.

'Well first up, I don't know about you, but I don't regret anything that happened last night, even though it means I cheated on Chip'. As soon as the words left my mouth, I remembered that I was meant to call him in the morning, but glancing over at my clock, it was still way too early for him to be up, so I figured I'd hold off a little while longer.

'True, but look who you cheated on him with! I think even Chipper would be happy for you', she replied confidently and she was right. I did feel bad about cheating on Chip, but definitely not as bad as I'm sure I would've under normal circumstances. Hell, people were jealous of me just because I was best friends with Jennifer, imagine what it'd be like if they knew I slept with her, _twice_. 'Look, I know this isn't easy for you, but if it helps, I don't have any regrets about last night either. I'm glad it happened'. I knew she was telling the truth, but hearing her say it out loud definitely did help, like maybe she was putting her dislike of Chip aside for two seconds and was seeing things through my eyes. 'Besides, you have to admit that Chip can't hold a candle to this' Jen said, flipping her hair dramatically over her shoulder and I couldn't help but look at her, knowing that I'd spoken too soon, but not really caring right now.

'Secondly' I continued, 'I don't really know where to go from here. I mean, I still love Chip, being with him is comfortable, you know? But I love you too Jen, like really love you and I don't know who to choose. Someone's going to get hurt no matter what I do'. The whole time I'd been talking, Jen's eyes had been softening, letting me know that she really was listening to what I was saying and that it was sinking in.

'I may not be president of the Chip Dove Fan Club, but I know how much he means to you and I'm not going to stand in the way of that if he's who you want. I've got my own things to sort out too, but I'm not giving up hope on this, on us. Not yet anyway'. Knowing that Jennifer wasn't going to try and sabotage things made it a little easier for me, but I was still a long way off making my mind up.

'Thanks Jen. I'm not giving up on this either, I just have a lot to think about'. I half smiled, certain that the next few weeks wouldn't be easy for either of us.

'Well I gotta fly Monistat, I guess I should probably check in at home at some stage today'. Jen pulled me in to a lingering hug and kissed me quickly, before standing up, grabbing her grimy clothes from last night and walking to my door. Turning back around, she said 'I'll check in with you later Needy, I can tell we've both got a lot of serious brain and heart usage ahead of us'. Waving her goodbye, she walked out of my room and once I heard the front door close, I crossed to my window in time to see her climbing in to the Sebring, beeping the horn as she drove off. Walking back over to my bed, I let out a sigh as I flopped down, throwing an arm over my eyes, effectively blocking out the light that was now flooding my room. As I lay there, I went over last night and this morning in my mind, more than certain that I was in love with Jennifer and that she was in love with me. Chip kept playing on my mind though and I decided I should call him before it drove me crazy, besides, last night's fire would be all over town by now and I didn't want to worry him by not letting him know that I'm alive and well. As I rolled over to grab my phone, I figured that I wouldn't let Chip in on anything that had happened between Jennifer and I, at least not until I'd had a chance to think it over more. Talking to Chip cheered me up a little, but didn't help to make my decision any easier and as I hung up, all I could think of was Jen's body against mine, Chip's voice in my head and how both of them were in my heart.

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**Please let me know what you think, I love hearing from you! Stay tuned for more fun and frivolity.**


	4. Chapter 4

**This has taken a bit longer than expected to put up. I wrote most of it a couple of afternoons ago and haven't had the chance to finish it til tonight. Also, when I was writing it, I realised that I deviated from the movie slightly. There, they go to school the next day, here they don't. So for the sake of this story, let's just say the fire happened on a Friday night. Anyway, I hope you like it!**

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My mum wasn't even home when I got there, all she'd left behind was a note explaining that she was out on a date with I-don't-care-who and that there were some leftovers in the fridge. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother trying to show her I'm still alive by checking in with her, when she's out almost as much as I am. Still, I guess it's good to know she cares enough to at least tell me where she is, even if she has given up on checking in on me for the most part. Overall though, we just barely live up to our last name, _our_ last name, from _my_ dad. I really don't know that much about him at all, he died not long after I was born, so it doesn't upset me when I think about all the things I missed out on with him, like him walking me down the aisle or whatever. If anything good came out of his death though, it's the fact that it's what first brought Needy and me together. When we were kids, there used to be a support group for single parents held in the local community hall that mum would go to, dragging me along with her. It had a dingy little café thing attached to it and I'd be the only kid there most weeks, left to amuse myself, as almost all of the others were old enough for school. After we'd been going for a while though, I noticed a new girl who looked like she'd start crying any minute, and decided that this sad looking blonde girl would be my new friend, after all, it's really hard to play Barbies by yourself.

Walking through the house to my room, I thought back to how I went over and introduced myself to the newbie, standing over near the café all on her lonesome. It turned out she was there that day because her dad got called in to some cleaning job and she was sick, so the only place she could go and be semi-supervised was with her mum, who was working in the shitty café at the time.

'My name's Jennifer and this is Perfect Prom Betty', I said, holding the doll in the girl's face.

'I'm Anita, but you can call me Needy, that's what everybody else does', the girl replied, pushing my arm away gently. We were both nearly five and around the same height, but we were opposites in practically every other way. Where my hair was dark and straight, Needy's was blonde and wavy. My clothes were bright and new, while hers were worn and faded. She had a dad, I didn't. There was something about her though that drew me in, even though we were so young. I like to think it was her eyes, back then they reminded me of my favourite crayon colour, and even though she wears glasses now, they can't hide the fact that they're still the most intense shade of blue-green I've ever come across, hell, they shit all over that crayon! We've been inseparable ever since that day and our mothers, only too happy to please their only children, would let us play together whenever we wanted, no matter what the plans might've been for the day, or what the weather was doing outside. We practically became the sisters neither of us had ever had. I guess looking back now, it'd probably seem like we were sitting just a little too close to each other, or holding hands for just a little too long, but to us, we were just doing what kids do and didn't realise or even care that our friendship was already running so much deeper than we'd thought possible.

Dumping my _before_ clothes, I went over and collapsed on my bed, tired from doing nothing at all. _Except showing Needy what I'm all about last night_, I smiled at the memory of Needy's hands all over my body and mine on hers and couldn't help the warm tingle that made its way through my body. Yesterday we were completely normal teenagers in a completely normal town, doing completely normal things and in a split second, everything changed. As stupid as it sounds, it's like the fire sparked something inside of me that suddenly made me see things differently, like, if it didn't happen, Needy and I would probably keep on living our lives the way we always have. She'd still be dorky, normal Needy and I'd still be perfect, popular Jennifer and we'd still be biffs, just like always.

As I lay there, I thought of another way my dad dying made Needy and I closer. Her dad died when we were fifteen, and even though I couldn't relate to the pain she was feeling then, I knew what it was like to live without having a father around. Sure, I don't know what it's like to have a dad at all, but as I was growing up, I found out pretty quickly that just having a mum wasn't the usual family situation. It was also the first time I'd seen Needy cry over something serious, and by that I mean _serious_ serious, not getting a paper cut serious. On the day it happened, Needy wasn't at school, which was strange; up until then, I don't think she'd missed even half a day. It had something to do with her parents saying that the only way she'd ever get out of going, was if she was on death's door. When I got home that afternoon, my mum met me at the door with a hug, which was also strange; she only did that if she was super excited about something, or if something majorly fucked-up had gone down. Putting two and two together, I came to the conclusion that Needy must've been in trouble and started seriously freaking out right there on my front porch. I eventually calmed down enough for mum to tell me about Needy's dad and how I was the only person she wanted to see, and that mum was going to drive me over there as soon as I was ready.

Up until last night, walking up the stairs to Needy's room to try and comfort her that night was the most nervous I'd ever been. I had no idea what to say or do to at least try and cheer her up a little, but as soon as I opened her bedroom door and saw her sitting on her bed, her shoulders heaving and her breathing all uneven, I had to force myself not to run over to her and wrap her in my arms. Walking over to her bed slowly, I placed a hand on her shoulder and felt her twitch at my touch.

'Leave me alone! Get out!' the pain in her voice scared me and I backed away, thinking she didn't want me there. I stepped on a creaky floorboard as I turned and Needy's head jolted up, 'God! Jen, I'm sorry. I didn't realise it was you, please don't leave'. My heart all but broke when I saw the sadness in her eyes and I knew then and there that I wanted to be the one to make it go away, after all, it's what best friends do.

'I'm not going anywhere Needy. I only packed for tonight, but I'll stay as long as you want me to', as I spoke, I went over and sat next to her, placing my hand on her shoulder again, before moving it to rub her back slowly. 'Do you want to talk about it?'

'I do, but not right now. I think I need a break from crying for a while'. I nodded my head and gave her a small smile, letting her know that I'd be ready when she was. We sat there for I don't know how long, Needy sniffling every now and then, and me still rubbing her back. After a while though, I heard Needy clear her throat, and I broke out of my own thoughts to listen to her.

'Jen?'

'Hmm?'

'Do you ever feel sad about your dad dying? I mean, have you ever broken down like me?' Her words came out softly, almost like she wasn't sure if they were questions she should be asking me.

I was trying to think of a nice way to say it, but I figured just telling her the truth would be the best thing. 'No not really, I mean, I never even knew him. I try not to think about him too much, I guess that would probably upset me more if I did. You can't miss what you never had right? I get what it's like to grow up without a dad though and that used to upset me more. Kids calling you a loser just because you don't have a father isn't fair, I never had one to begin with'. The entire time I'd been talking, Needy's red and swollen eyes had begun to fill with tears again.

'He had a heart attack at work. They tried to save him, but he was already gone', she forced the words out between sobs and I couldn't hold back any longer. Moving myself so that I could lean against the headboard, I pulled Needy towards me so that she was sitting between my legs, her back against my front. Linking my fingers with hers, I wrapped my arms around her tightly, kissing the top of her head as she rested it back on my shoulder. I've never been much of a believer in God, but at that moment, holding my crying best friend close to me like that, I was filled with both anger and faith. I was angry at Him for taking our dads away, mine before I even got a chance to get to know him, and Needy's when she already had; but I knew that He created Needy and I so that we would be in each other's lives for times like this and for that I was eternally grateful. Neither of us went to school that week, our mums filled our teachers in with what was going on and nothing more was said, no questions asked. It was just assumed that if Needy was out, then I was too. We stayed in her room, me listening to her talking about her dad whenever she wanted to and her laughing at my attempts to make her smile again. At night, we would fall asleep in each other's arms, drifting off to our promises to always be best friends forever and to be there no matter what.

It's funny how you can pinpoint significant moments in a friendship like that, like our first meeting thirteen years ago and the death of Needy's dad. I'm sure we would've found our way in to the other's lives at some point, but I don't think we'd be where we are now if things had worked out differently. I know what happened last night has changed the two of us forever, but I don't think I want to risk what we've built up over so many years by rushing in to something _more_. Looking over at my bedside table, my eyes landed on a photo of me and Needy that Chip took about a year ago. It was on the porch outside Needy's and I was leaning against the side of the house with her in a fake headlock. I was trying to look menacing, while Needy was supposed to look scared; instead, we both ended up bursting out laughing, wide smiles plastered on our faces. Later, while Needy was downstairs making out with Chip before he left, I was searching through her camera for the photo on the porch, when I came across another one I didn't even know Chip had taken. This time we were sitting on the steps leading up to the front door. My face was tilted down, but you could see that the corner of my mouth was turned up in a smile. Needy's chin was resting on the top of my head, her eyes closed and a serene expression on her face. My right arm was circling Needy's waist, my left arm resting in my lap, my fingertips almost touching her thigh. It looked like Needy's left arm was on the step behind us, but like my left, her right arm was in her lap, only her fingers were outstretched and reaching for mine. The whole picture was bathed in the golden glow of late afternoon sun and it looked for all the world like the two of us were joined together. I remember feeling a mixture of anger and guilt towards Chip over that picture, anger at him for capturing such an intimate moment between us, and guilt for the same reason. I can't imagine what it must've looked like to him, to see his girlfriend attached to her best friend like that, I can only hope that he didn't take any notice of it.

Thinking about that photo was all the proof I needed to know that I didn't want to fuck things up between us. Sure, I'd love nothing more than to be with Needy, but right now, I really don't think it's the best thing to do. I mean, she's got Chip to think about and I guess, as bad as it is, I've got my reputation to hold on to. I meant all the stuff I said last night about being sick of the guys around here and the way I'm seen by them; the attention might be good at first, but the shine wears off really quickly these days. That said, I can't just change who I am and what people see me as overnight; I know it's shallow, but it's true. At the same time, Needy is the only person I've ever know to see past my looks, it's almost like they don't even matter to her, and I know if I was with her, I could let whatever insecurities I have left go. I wish I could say that I'd drop everything in a heartbeat just to be with her, but it doesn't work like that, not for us anyway; besides, as much as I might want her to, I can't just expect her to give Chip the flick for me. Sighing, I rolled over on to my side, making up my mind to talk to Needy tomorrow about our situation. I'm pretty certain neither of us will hit the jackpot with whatever decision is made; we've just got to hope that we can at least come out even.

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**As of right now, I've got a pretty clear idea of how this story's going to end. That said, I'm still happy to read any suggestions you guys may have. Thanks to all of you out there who have been reviewing, adding this to your favourites, or just plain reading! I have to say, this is probably one of my favourite chapters so far, I guess I'm finding delving into Jennifer's mind really intriguing. More coming soon!**


	5. Chapter 5

After hanging up from Chip and deciding that talking to him really did me no favours in the 'which one is number one' stakes, I spent the rest of the day sitting on my bed, mulling things over. I've got absolutely no idea how I'm supposed to accommodate the two people I love most in to my life without seriously stuffing things up. My guess is I won't, and that I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and choose between Jennifer and Chip. The carnage will be major, that much I'm sure of. Unfortunately, this isn't exactly one of those moments where I can sit down and write out a list of pros and cons and hope that one column will be significantly bigger and that's that; decision made, life sorted. Textbook stuff, right? The only problem is, things don't work like that, I mean for one, those lists are useless anyway. You're only making them to prove a point to yourself about something you've already made your mind up on. I'm nowhere near that stage yet; no matter how much I wish I was. Sure, I can probably come up with plenty of reasons to stay with Chip, and a heap for going with Jennifer, but the bottom line is, I'm up shit creek and no amount of pro and con paddling is going to get me out of there.

Sighing, I climbed off my bed and began pacing around my room so I could stretch my legs after sitting in the one place for so long. As I was making my way lazily across the floor, I couldn't help but laugh at myself, wondering how I managed to get in to such a hopeless situation. _God, I wonder if Jennifer's having as much trouble with this as I am._ Thinking of Jennifer brought up memories of our childhood together, from our first meeting, to our first fight in the sandbox over who got to be Perfect Prom Betty. Growing up, things got tougher for us and there were times where I didn't know if we'd make it out the other end in one piece. One minute, we'd be dreaming about how we'd escape from Devil's Kettle, the next, she'd be talking about the new guy she was 'dating', which I knew meant fucking. We were smart enough to realise that ours isn't a normal friendship though, sure we had people telling us that every day, but aside from the physical and popularity differences, we've got this weird connection that kept us going through all that crap. Some people would call that 'soul mates' I suppose, but I don't have a name for it, I just figure that if it's strong enough to keep two people like Jen and me together, it must be pretty damn good.

Walking back over to my bed, it dawned on me that what Jen and I have right now works and I really don't want to stuff up thirteen years of friendship over one night. Knowing what I know now about how we feel for each other, it might hurt to not be able to hold her or kiss her, but I know that it'll hurt a hell of a lot more in the long run if she's not there at all. I'll just have to add the memory of last night to the collection I've built up over the years, and I'm pretty sure I can be happy with that. Some things are just too good to lose. Picking up my beat up phone and reminding myself for the insert-ridiculously-large-number-here time to get a new one, I sent Jennifer a message that we needed to talk, but that it could wait til tomorrow. I barely put my phone back down when it buzzed in my hand with her reply – _I'll be over asap. Be ready for me!_ _xoxo_. Even though she always ended her messages like that, those little crosses and o's took on a new meaning for me now. Closing my phone, I smiled and prayed to God that I wasn't turning in to one of those giddy schoolgirls who blushes when the cute guy looks her way, even though it was a look that was most definitely not meant for her, but for the gorgeous senior behind her. I may not have much in the way of a certain style, but I know for sure that that's definitely not it. I guess that's one of the reasons I like Chip so much; he's so easy to read and so _Chip_ that if he's looking at you, you know it's meant for you.

Picking up the book from my bedside table that I'd started reading several times already, I pushed all the thoughts of my dilemma to the back of my mind; set on finally finishing it today, _who knows when I might get to otherwise_. Somehow though, I began to find similarities between the characters of _War and Peace_ and my current situation; not so much with their personalities, but with the whole 'I'm attracted to them, they're attracted to me, but wait, so is that guy' thing. Besides the whole attraction thing, pretty much the only similarities I could find between my life and the one in the book was the hedonistic nature of Jen and Anatole, though hers is much less destructive, and the general desire for happiness that everyone is looking for, no matter where it comes from. At the risk of butchering a literary classic with my moping, I put it aside once more, frustrated that I still hadn't managed to finish it. As I lay there though, I found myself hoping that my present state of affairs, and those of the inhabitants of _War and Peace,_ would all be resolved as peacefully and painlessly as possible.

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I woke up way too early the next morning, well, early for me anyway, and the hours I had to wait for Jennifer to show up only made me more anxious about the conversation to come. I was finally comfortable with the decision I'd made, now all I had to do was hope that Jen would be too; I don't even want to begin to think about what could happen if she's not. Not long before nine, I heard Jen's characteristic rap on the front door, and I made my way downstairs to let her in.

'Morning Monistat! Glad to see you've dressed for the occasion', she said as she made her way inside, gesturing to the pyjamas I hadn't bothered to change out of yet.

'I was getting to it' I shrugged, heading back up the stairs. 'If I knew you were getting so dolled up, I probably would've too; besides, it's Sunday and I'll do whatever the hell I want!' I turned around and said that last part with a wink; she knew full well I don't change before ten on Sundays.

'Oh, kitty's got claws!' Jen's musical laugh wafted up from behind me as I rounded the top of the stairs and walked in to my room. Jen went over to sit on my bed, while I sat by my computer, swivelling the chair out of nerves. 'Okay, I know what this is about so let's cut to the chase Pussy Galore'. Jen's voice was playful, but I could tell by the look in her eye that she was hoping as much I was that this would go as smoothly as possible.

I decided that I'd speak first and get it over and done with. 'Look Jen, you know I love you right?' Jennifer just nodded her response, which I was grateful for. 'I mean I really love you, more than a friend should love another friend, but I can't help that. I'm too far-gone to pull out now. The problem is I love Chip too. I know you two don't get along, like, at all, but I need you to understand how important he is to me. I know Chip's probably not the guy I'm going to marry, hell, for all I know we probably won't make it through college! But the point is, he's in my life right now and I can't just cut him loose. The only other person who means more to me than Chip is you Jen, and I'm not going to let you go either. It wouldn't be fair on either of us. So basically, what I'm trying to get at is I want to stay with Chip and I want you and I to go back to normal. Well, as normal as we'll ever be I suppose.' I let out a sigh, and prayed that what I just said made as much sense out loud as it had in my mind when I was going over it before Jennifer arrived.

'Well that gets a big tick from me, I was thinking pretty much exactly the same thing.' I looked up and saw Jen smiling brightly at me. 'You've got nothing to worry about Needy, I'm not going anywhere and I promise not to evil-eye Chip. Much.' She stood up and motioned for me to join her. Wrapping her arms around me, she whispered in my ear, 'we'll make this work, I swear. We're in this together and I'm not letting go.'

'I know Jen, I believe you.' Kissing her quickly on the cheek, I smiled, my mood a lot lighter already. 'I don't know about you, but I definitely wasn't expecting that to go so well.'

'Hey, we can get along when we have to!' Jen laughed and she let her arms drop. 'Now go get changed. We're going shopping and I can't have you walking around like some basket case that escaped from Leech Lake'. Shooting her a look of mock agony, I made my way to the bathroom; ecstatic that our little talk had worked out the way we both wanted it to.

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**I apologise sincerely and profusely for the rather large delay between chapters! I know there's no excuse, so I'm just going to hope that this is good enough for you to forget how long it took me to write it. Also, **_**War and Peace**_** is one of my favourite books and Tolstoy my favourite author, and I used it purely to provide an example for how Needy was feeling at the time, not in any way as a detailed description of the actual goings-on of the characters and their situations within the book. The way I wrote it certainly is nowhere near as complex as the actual struggles faced by the characters in the book. I suppose the best way of describing it, is that Needy's mind was so preoccupied with thoughts of Jennifer, Chip and their situation, that she began to see it being reflected in the book she was reading at the time, and that it probably would've been the same, no matter what she was reading. So thank you for bearing with me and thank you again to all my reviewers!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's another chapter for your perusal! I'd just like to add once again, that the only thing I can claim here as my own is the story. Enjoy!**

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It'd been three weeks since mine and Needy's conversation and I felt every single one of the days as they passed. Hell, it felt like I'd been living in some weird, trippy world where time moves super-slow and all that other sci-fi bullshit. I first started noticing that things were getting weird between us when the small stuff began to make a huge difference. We always sit close to each other in class without even thinking about it, but after about a week, I could tell Needy wasn't sitting as close to me as she normally would. No one else could possibly pick up on something like that, but to me, the smallest change became the biggest distance, one that was quickly growing between the two of us. When it comes to hugging, usually Needy and I would jump at the chance, it's just what we do; well what any biffs do really. Now though, we're scared of someone reading something more in to it, so even the quick 'hello-goodbye' hugs are done with. I know that Needy gets called 'lesbigay' every so often because of how close we are and that she just brushes it off like it means nothing, like it's just a word. It's true that a few weeks ago it didn't mean anything, only that people saw Needy as some dorky girl obsessed with me, someone who apparently is only pretending to be her best friend to make myself look even better. We've given up trying to explain to people that that isn't true, but they'll believe whatever the hell they want to. The thing is though, if they called us 'lesbi-gaylords' now, they'd kind of be right. I mean, it's pretty clear, to us at least, that Needy and I love each other, the difference is though, we don't love other girls, just each other. Needy's still pretty much head over heels for Chip, well as much as she can be at the moment anyway, and I'm still definitely a fan of the man bits. I guess we were probably pretty stupid to think that we could make things go back to the way they were, pretending that nothing ever happened between us. Sure, it was easy enough at first, but I started to get really tired of hiding everything, really quickly; I mean, I'm a good liar and all, but it's too much like hard work. I've even started wondering why we're even trying to hide what's going on between us, and then I remember that I care too much about my 'reputation' to let Needy know that she's all that matters. I guess the situation we got ourselves into was pretty messed up to start with, but I've got a feeling we just made it a whole lot worse.

Which leads me to where I am now. It's gradually started getting harder and harder to be around Needy, no matter how much I want to be. I can feel the small distance between us growing and it hurts a hell of a lot more than I thought it would. I desperately want things between us to go back to the way they were, but I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in knowing that that's not going to happen. It's painful to be near her, knowing that I can't get as close to her as I want to; but it hurts being away from her too, even if it's only for a few minutes. Seeing that photo of us on her porch may've made me realise that I didn't want to ruin what we've got by taking this thing between us any further, but I'm starting to realise that it was fucked up a long time ago. I don't mean that in a perverted way, just that I guess it seems so obvious to me now that something was going to develop between Needy and me, something more than friendly, something that we couldn't help if we tried. I've got thinking lately, as harsh as I know it sounds, that the only way to get over this is to cut myself out of Needy's life completely. I can't live with her half in my life like she is now, I need all of her, but since that's never going to happen, I figure I'll just cut my losses and basically disappear. It'll be more difficult than trying to be pretend that everything between us was kosher, partly because this town isn't exactly what you'd call huge, but mainly because it'll feel like someone has just ripped my ribcage open, ripped out my heart and thrown it against a wall. Attractive image I know, but I've never been big on subtlety.

I already had an idea of how to put my plan in to action; Colin Grey's been in to me for years, and well, let's just say today's his lucky day. One reason I'm going after him is that he'll be as easy a target as any other guy; the other is that maybe he might be the one guy around here who's actually decent and mature and not just attracted to me for my looks. It's a long shot, but it's all I've got. It tears me apart inside every time I see Needy, especially if she's with Chip, but I know that's nothing compared to what I'll feel once this is all over and done with. The pain of losing her forever will probably never fade, but I've got to a least try to give us a chance to have normal lives again.

Walking through the halls after class, I saw Colin rounding a corner and quickly snapped out of my thoughts, _it's go time!_ Sucking in a breath, I switched in to 'seduction mode' and strode towards Colin, calling out his name just as he stopped by his locker.

'Oh, hi Jennifer', he replied, definitely nervous. I drew my lips in to a smile at the thought of how easy this would be.

'You're looking good today Colin. Very _purple_', I said, gesturing to his dishevelled, but oh-so-thought-out and perfectly put-together ensemble. 'It suits you'. He mumbled out a thank you, and turned back to fishing whatever it was he was looking for out of his locker. When he noticed that I hadn't left and looked at me as if to ask if he'd done something wrong, I realised it was time to cut to the chase. I was surprised to notice that I was nervous too, I'm usually the one in Colin's position, only better dressed, more confident and well, female. Shaking off any doubts I had about what I was going to do, I placed my hand on Colin's shoulder, making him turn to face me again.

'I'm not going to lie to you Colin; I've been like, falling for you all year. Everything about you is so different to all the other guys around here. It's like you're from the city or something'. Acting coy, I hoped he'd pick up on where I was heading with this; instead, his face turned a nice rosy red that clashed with all the purple he was wearing. 'So anyway, I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me sometime, like tonight maybe?'

I wasn't sure if the look on his face was surprise, shock or some other expression starting with _s_, but he managed to pull himself together enough to blurt out a yes. 'That'd be great Jen, we can meet up at the Bijou and-'.

'Actually, I'd like a quiet night in, if that's ok with you', I cut in. I didn't want to risk being caught out in public, not yet anyway. I didn't have to worry about that though, just as Colin began rattling off his address, I noticed Needy over his shoulder, looking right at us. Even from this distance, I could tell what the look in her eyes would be, because it was being reflected in mine. Even without her really knowing what was currently going on between Colin and I, I could tell she was hurt and confused, like she could sense what I was doing and that this was the end. When I couldn't bring myself to look at her anymore, I wrapped my arms around Colin, breaking our eye contact. When I let go, Needy was gone, lost in a sea of people. Telling Colin to text me his address because I'd never remember it, I turned and started walking away from him and everyone else, letting my hair fall over my shoulders so that no one would be able to see the tears streaming down my face.

As I was getting ready for my date with Colin, I tried to keep my mind occupied with things other than Needy and what I'd done today. No matter what I thought of though, I always came back to the image of Needy and the look on her face and the realisation that what I'd done can't be undone. I'd cried the whole way home from school and all through getting ready, finally forcing myself to stop just so I could put my makeup on and not look like I'd spent all afternoon getting stoned or cutting up onions. It didn't surprise me that I hadn't heard from Needy, she normally spends Monday afternoons with Chip, doing whatever it is they do. That, and I can't blame her for not wanting to talk to me after what she witnessed earlier. To anyone else it would've looked like I was just talking to Colin, asking to borrow his notes again, but Needy would've seen straight through that. She couldn't possibly know what I was really doing, but she didn't have to, to her it would've look exactly as it was, me ending us.

The ache in my heart was already there and growing and all I could do was hope that it would eventually go away. I hadn't thought any further ahead than tonight about what exactly I was going to do, I just knew that I couldn't be around Needy anymore. It wasn't fair on either of us to keep going the way we were, we'd only damage ourselves more in the long run. I guess I hoped that one day we'd get past all this shit and go back to being the old us, but I knew that that was probably never going to happen. We changed the moment that fire broke out and there's no going back. Looking at my clock. I realised I'd be late getting to Colin's if I didn't leave now. Grabbing my things, I headed out to the car, typing out a message as I walked; _Leaving now, I'll be there soon xx._

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**Just in time for Christmas! I've got a fair bit of time off next week, so I might even get another chapter up before Christmas, but I won't make any promises. I hope you all have a very merry, happy and safe holidays!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Surprise! I've managed to pull it off just in time. I hope you like it.**

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I couldn't bring myself to go to Chip's after school, seeing Jennifer with Colin this afternoon shook me up pretty bad, and I didn't think I could deal with Chip fawning over me if I went to his. I don't know for sure what was going on between them, but knowing Jennifer, she definitely wouldn't have been asking Colin the time and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have just walked over and struck up a conversation with her. What I couldn't work out though was _why._ I mean, if she was doing what I think she was doing, why didn't she mention something to me about it? I know things haven't been going great-guns for us lately, but for her not to just drop _oh by the way, I'm going to ask Colin Grey out _in to one of our many talks, well, things must be a whole lot worse than I thought.

My phone started having a seizure, signalling that I'd just received a message and reaching over to get it from my bedside table, I expected to see a text from Chip; I'd told him I wasn't coming over, but hadn't filled him in on why. Instead, Jennifer's name lit up screen; part of me was so filled with anger that I didn't even want to bother opening it, but I figured I'd just be better getting it over and done with. Besides, if I didn't reply, she'd just keep texting me until I did, and right now, that'd only tick me off even more. Flipping it open though, I realised I wouldn't have to reply: _Leaving now, I'll be there soon xx_. My body suddenly felt like it had been dunked in ice at the thought of seeing her so soon. I definitely wasn't ready to talk to her, but as I heard her pull up outside, I realised I didn't have a choice, this was happening and it was happening _now._

Even through the closed door of my room, I could still hear Jennifer as she made her way up the stairs, and trying to calm my breathing, I went and stood by it, waiting. I heard Jennifer pause outside the door and guessed she was trying to compose herself too. I slowly opened the door to find her standing there; looking like she was all dressed up with nowhere to go.

'Hey', she said, her voice barely above a whisper. 'Can I come in?' Stepping away to let her in, I closed the door behind us and stood with my back to it, not quite ready to be close to her yet. 'Look, Needs, about today, I-'.

'Save it Jen', I interrupted, 'I'm not in the mood for any of your excuses right now'. I was already fighting to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill down my face, but right now, I had to stand my ground.

'Needy, just let me explain. Please?' The look on her face was heartbreaking and I could tell she was struggling with this just as much as I was. I sighed and nodded for her to continue, though I still didn't move from my place by the door. 'First off, I never expected things to turn out like this, I swear. I know things haven't been super-easy for either of us lately, but I guess I just wanted to try and make it better somehow and obviously, it backfired majorly'. There was nothing but sincerity in Jen's voice, but I still needed to know more, needed to know _why_.

'So what's going on between you and Colin then? You can't tell me he finally grew the balls and manned up enough to ask you out'. I was gradually making my way away from the door and closer to Jennifer, but not so close that I wouldn't be able to stop myself from reaching out to her.

'Nope, that was all me', she answered. 'I couldn't take it anymore Needy, being around you but not being with you. These last few weeks have been driving me crazy. I know you've felt it too, the distance between us getting bigger by the day'. She looked over at me from her place by the foot of my bed; I didn't say anything, but the look in my eyes would've given it away. Of course I'd felt it. Even though she was still around me, the pain inside of me was making it seem like we'd been apart for months.

'So, the only way that made sense to me to try and make things better was to cross myself out of your life. Colin's a nice guy and I suppose I thought things could be normal with him, you know?' Jennifer made her way over to me and reached out to place a hand on my shoulder.

'And what? You thought you could just go behind my back like that? I mean, come on Jen, give me a little credit here'. As much as I knew Jennifer was telling the truth, I couldn't help but be angry. 'I should've known you'd do something like this sooner or later, get bored and move on to the next piece of meat like you always do'.

'I didn't say anything because I didn't know how! Christ Needy, do you seriously think I did what I did because I _wanted_ to hurt you? I did it because I wanted to give us a chance to be normal again, and I couldn't do that if I told you about it; it just would've made things even harder'. We were both yelling now, too stubborn to back down.

'Well, gee, that's got to be the first time in, like, ever, that you've actually thought about my feelings Jen! I'm kind of honoured actually, that you've finally decided to grace me with your pleasantness'. I had no idea where this bitchiness was coming from, but it was like I couldn't help myself. I knew I'd hurt Jen too, as she stumbled away from me like I'd just sucker-punched her.

'So it's all coming out now is it?' Jen was backing away towards the door, her voice rising higher as she went. 'That's what you really think of me then? Well, I guess I'm doing a pretty good job of living up to your expectations. I thought you were different Needy, I really did, but it's pretty clear you're just like everyone else around here. You're scared that someone might actually pull you up on something. God, if people only knew some of the stories I have on you! So, you're really going to throw thirteen years of us down the drain just because I thought I was finally doing the right thing for once? Hell, you're shallower than I am!'

I was glaring daggers at Jen the whole time she was shooting off at me, but inside, I felt terrible. 'Yeah well, this is all your fault anyway! None of this would've happened if you didn't want to fuck Low Shoulder!' I knew with what I'd said that I'd just pushed a blade through Jennifer's heart.

'You know what Needy? I was never going to go on that date with Colin tonight. I spent all afternoon stressing over you and how torn up you looked at school this afternoon when you saw us together. I was coming over here to tell you that it felt like I was betraying you, betraying our connection. Guess I don't have to worry about that now, huh? You just ripped it to shreds'. I knew she was right, but I couldn't bring myself to speak and my last view of her was of the tears streaming from her hard, cold eyes as she left my room.

'Fuck!' I screamed as I collapsed on to my bed, exhausted from what had just gone down. Sobbing in to my pillow, I knew I'd crossed the line. It was crystal clear to me that Jennifer was just doing what she thought was right. Sure, it would've hurt like a bitch at the time, but once the smoke had cleared, there was every chance that we could've gone back to being 'Needy and Jennifer' again. It might've taken years, but it was a possibility and one that I just fucked over big time. There was never going to be an 'us' again, all because of me not being able to let her go.

When there was nothing left for me to cry out, all I was left with was a hollow feeling on the inside, one that I wasn't sure would ever be filled. Dragging my head from my tear-stained pillow, I reached over for my phone and saw that I had a message from Chip. I decided against replying in case I typed something I'd seriously regret. I knew I shouldn't be angry at him, but I wasn't exactly being rational right now. All I could think of was that if it wasn't for the fire at Melody Lane and me going out with Chip, everything would still be rosy for Jen and me, we'd still be biffs and still be the most important people in each other's lives.

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**Merry Christmas to all my loyal readers out there! Thank you so much to all of you who reviewed the last chapter, it's definitely one of the best Christmas present I've ever had. Enjoy!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chip's chapter! I thought I'd change it up a little bit; see what's going on in that little mind of his.**

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Needy had been acting really weird since her fight with Jennifer, and that was almost a month ago now. No matter how much I asked, she wouldn't tell me what went down though, only that one minute things were fine and the next they were all fucked up. Whatever happened, it must've been pretty bad; I mean, they've had fights before, usually over something stupid Jennifer did, or because Needy didn't do what she'd told her to, but they've never had one this full on or that's lasted this long. It's almost like Needy can't function properly without Jennifer next to her, she just walks along beside me, acting like she's all happy and _together_, but on the inside, I know she's not. As much as I hate to admit it, I've even noticed a change in Jennifer. Sure she's still her normal manipulative cheer-whore self, but there's something off about her. I can't really tell what it is, but I'm pretty sure her eyes aren't bright as they usually are, or something.

After being together for seven months and three weeks, I really thought Needy would talk to me about her issues, Jennifer-related or not, but I guess I was wrong, and with her not filling me in, I decided I had to go straight to the source of the problem to try and find out what was. Normally, I wouldn't go anywhere near Jennifer, unless she was hanging around Needy, but I figured that if wanted to know what the hell was going on with my girlfriend, I'd have to man up and try and talk to her. Me and Jennifer are in the same gym class, and I knew that was the only time I was going to get her on her own, without the risk of running in to Needy; I really don't need her being angry at me too.

Walking out on the field, I noticed Jennifer talking to a bunch of other girls, flipping her hair and laughing that fake laugh I hate so much. Making my way over to them, I saw Jennifer's face drop as she noticed me.

'Oh hi Chip!' she called, recovering quickly as she waved me over. 'To what do I owe this pleasure?' Turning her back on her groupies, she narrowed her eyes at me, clearly not enjoying me being near her.

'We need to talk Jennifer. It's about Needy'. I looked around at the other girls and saw that they all had amused looks plastered on their faces. _That's right girls; Chip Dove is talking to the one and only Jennifer Check!_ 'Could you uh- could you give us a minute please?' I definitely wasn't as confident as I was before, but I needed to do this.

'Go, I'm sure I can handle this one by myself', Jennifer smirked at me, waving her followers off. 'Spill it, I haven't got all gym class Chipper'. I had to think carefully about what I was going to say, otherwise Jennifer'd be likely to just flip me off, leaving me with no answers at all.

'Okay. Look, I know you and Needy are fighting; all I want to know is why. She won't say anything to me about it'.

'And you think I will?' Jennifer replied, hands on her hips, eyes mean.

'Well I was hoping so, yeah'. _C'mon Dove, you're going to have to do better than this!_ 'She's miserable'. As I looked down at the ground, I could swear I heard Jennifer mutter something that sounded like 'miserable without me'. When I looked back up at her though, her face was still as emotionless as it was before and I figured I'd imagined it.

'Well it looks like you're shit outta luck Chip, Needy's not mine anymore', and she started off to join the rest of the class who were now running laps. Realising that I couldn't let this go, I ran after her.

'Not your what?' I called out, as I pulled up beside her.

'Biff, problem, whatever', she didn't look over at me, she just kept running. As much as I really don't like Jennifer as a person or a friend to Needy, I know that for whatever reason, she means a lot to Needy, and despite what she'd just said, I know that Needy means something to her.

Running a little faster, I turned around so that I was facing Jennifer and began jogging backwards. 'Come on Jennifer, I can tell you don't really mean that. Hell, if you won't do it for me, do it for Needy. Please'.

Jennifer sighed and stopped running. 'Fine, but only if you stop looking at my tits'. I tried to tell her I wasn't, that I couldn't help it if they were right _there_. 'Don't try to hide it Chip; it's nothing to be ashamed of. Of course if Needy found out-'.

'Which I don't think she will, considering you aren't exactly talking anymore', I interrupted. 'Cut the crap Jennifer. What went on between you two?'

'Look who knows how to take control of a situation! I'm impressed Chip!' Jennifer's voice was dripping in sarcasm, but I knew threats wouldn't work on her, so instead of saying anything, I just glared at her, hoping that it would get my point across. I mean, I really don't need her shit on top of all the other shit I'm dealing with right now.

'Needy and I just worked out that we weren't in to each other anymore. We grew up', she sighed, giving in.

'That's it?' I questioned. That can't be it, there's got to be more.

'Scout's honour', Jennifer smiled, saluting. Turning, she started running again, and as I finished my laps, I couldn't help but think that there was something more behind her words.

That night while I was waiting for Needy to show up at mine, I kept thinking about Jennifer and what she'd said on the field back at school. Normally, I don't really pay much attention to what she says, but I kept getting caught up on our conversation for some reason. By the time I heard the doorbell ring, I'd practically sent myself crazy over trying to work out why I couldn't let go of what Jennifer had told me about her and Needy. Add to that the fact that I was nervous as hell about the talk I was about to have with Needy, it's a surprise I was still standing and not collapsed in some dopey heap on the floor.

'You alright Chip?' I heard Needy ask as she entered my room.

'I'm fine. Why?' I replied, trying to hide my shaking hands.

'Nothing. You just seem a little spaced out is all'.

'I just ate a whole pack of choc chip cookies. You know how they get to me', I said, going to sit on my bed. Needy just smiled politely at me, nodding her head as she came to join me. Smiling back at her quickly, I looked down at my feet and sucked in a huge breath. I knew this sure as hell wasn't going to be easy, but the longer I put it off, the worse it was going to be.

'Listen Needy, there's something I really need to talk to you about-' I started, but she cut me off before I could finish.

'Is this about the little incident last week? I told you it's fine, I've heard it's really common', she said, placing her hand on my thigh like she was trying to comfort me.

Taking hold of her hand, I could feel my face heating up in embarrassment. 'That's not it, but thanks anyway', looking up at Needy I went on, 'it's actually a little more serious than that'. She didn't say anything, but her mouth formed an 'O' and I began to notice her hand growing restless in mine.

'I know you and Jennifer are fighting, but what I don't get is why you won't tell me anything about it. You know that I'm supposed to help you through this sort of stuff right?' Needy had dropped her head while I'd been talking, but lifted it as soon as I finished.

'It's a lot more complicated than a fight Chip. I feel terrible for keeping all this stuff from you, but I really don't think I need to bother you with it right now, especially knowing how much you and Jennifer don't get along'. She held my hand tighter and for a split second, I could see something in her eyes that wasn't there before. It was like she was begging me to let this whole thing go, just forget about it and move on. Against all my better judgement, I decided to do just that. If Needy didn't want me to know, then I wouldn't force her to tell me; it wasn't worth the hurt it would cause.

'Alright, I won't push it anymore'. I heard Needy mumble 'thanks' before I continued. 'There's something else I have to talk to you about though, and I really hope you won't hate me forever after this'. Needy just looked at me, confused. I sucked in another breath, ran my hand though my hair nervously. 'I'm going to break up with you, but I want you to know why. I spoke to Jennifer today. I was desperate to find out what's going on between you two. You've been so miserable lately Needy, and it was making me think I wasn't doing enough to help you through all this crap'. Needy was silent beside me, but she didn't look angry, which could only be a good thing. 'She wouldn't tell me anything either, but the thing is, she seemed just as upset about the whole thing as you. You know, in her own way I guess'. Needy giggled a little at that and I smiled back. This was going much better than I thought.

'What I'm trying to say is; you two are so unhappy when you're not together. I'm not going to even try and pretend that I understand the bond you guys have going on; but what I do know is that I'll never match up to it'.

'Chip, don't say that', Needy replied, breaking her silence. 'I love you'.

'I know you do Needy, but I think you love Jennifer more. I'm not saying that in a gay way, I just think you guys have been so tight together for so long, that it'll take something pretty special to break it up. As much as I really want that to be me, I know it's not going to happen. When you and Jennifer are near each other, no one else can get a look in, and that's not a bad thing at all, I guess I just felt like I wasn't getting my fair share, you know?' Needy had started crying now, and I could feel tears in my eyes too. This was going to hurt for a while after tonight.

'All I want is for you to be happy. I know we're great together, but I can tell you miss her being around. But I'm not doing this for her, it's for you only okay?'

After a moment of silence, Needy finally spoke. 'Geez Chip. How many movies did you lift that from?'

'You don't want to know', I laughed, breathing a sigh of relief. At least there hadn't been any yelling.

'You still mean the world to me, you know that right?' She didn't have to say it, we both knew the answer; I did, but so did Jennifer. Nodding my reply, she threw her arms around me, saying 'I love you', before pulling away. 'I guess I better head home, mum's got one of her rare nights off and you know what that means!'

'Lame movies and burnt popcorn! At least it only happens once a month, if was any more than that, I think you'd go crazy', I answered.

'I know I've always got you around to keep me sane', she said, smiling and taking my hand as we walked to the front door. Hugging me again, Needy reached up and gave me one last kiss, whispering 'thank you' against my lips. Holding her in my arms, I told her that I'd always be around for her.

'I know', she replied, before walking off to her car. 'I love you Chip'.

I stood in the doorway for a while after she'd driven off, mostly wondering what she'd meant by the thank you she gave me just before she left.

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**Sorry once again for the lateness. I'm looking at moving within the month, so I've picked up a few extra hours at work. I must say I've been overwhelmed by the number of reviews I've been getting! I love them! On a bit of a sour note though, this story only has two chapters to go. Where will it end up? Oh the intrigue!**


	9. Chapter 9

**The penultimate chapter! I've always wanted to use that word in something I've written and now I've finally had the chance.**

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After leaving Chip's, it felt like my world suddenly became a whole lot clearer, like I'd been living in a daze since Jennifer and I had our fight and only now was I finally able to think and see properly. In a way, I was still trying to comprehend what Chip had just done. I guess I kind of knew that us breaking up was going to happen eventually, but it really didn't make the fact that it'd actually happened any easier to digest. We were such a big part of each other's lives for so long, and as glad as I am to be free to try and make things right with Jennifer, part of me hurt knowing that I wouldn't have Chip in my life in the same way that he used to be. I meant what I said about still loving him, a huge part of me always will; I mean, he was my first 'big love' and all, it's just that the meaning behind that love has changed now. I'll just have to take comfort in the fact that things didn't end badly between us, and that in time, hope we can develop a friendship that I won't let go of.

In the end though, I knew he'd broken up with me because he could see how unhappy I was, not with him, but with my whole situation. Being with Chip over the last few weeks has been the bright spot in otherwise very dull days and that's one thing I don't think I'll ever be able to thank him enough for, or tell him just how much it means to me. That said, I honestly hadn't expected him to be the one doing the breaking up; I went over to his tonight with every intention of doing it myself. The guilt had been eating away at me for so long, and I could see that my actions and the way I was behaving was hurting him, no matter how much he tried to hide it from me. I suppose one thing I can be happy about is that he didn't have to find out exactly what went on better Jennifer and me; I know I owe it to him to tell him the truth, but now just isn't the time, he doesn't need any more hurt after tonight.

Walking up the path to my house, I thought back on what Chip had said about how Jennifer seemed just as upset about the whole situation as I was. Now, Chip isn't the most perceptive of guys, so I figured that whatever Jennifer did or said to make him pick up on that must've been pretty obvious. While I was heartened by the fact that he had actually spoken to her, in all the time we've been together, they've never once been able to have a conversation without finding some way to insult each other; so, I can't imagine her suddenly opening up her heart to him. I'd been wanting for so long to talk to Jennifer about what had happened at my place that night, but I could never bring myself to talk to her. The funny thing is though, I could swear that as we crossed each other in the halls at school, I would catch her eye and see something almost like sadness reflected in them. Hearing Chip say tonight that he'd noticed it too made me realise that I hadn't been going crazy and that maybe Jennifer was taking this just as hard as I was.

Stepping inside, I was both caught up on thinking about what Jennifer could've possibly said to Chip, and filled with hope that maybe things weren't quite over between us. Rounding the door in to the living room, I noticed that my mother wasn't home yet and decided that tonight I was just going to have to take a raincheck on our traditional bad movie night. I had to see Jennifer and try and make things right before they get wrecked beyond repair. Scribbling a note to mum that I'd be over at Jennifer's, I promised I'd make it up to her as soon as the next available chance came along. With that done, I took the stairs two at a time up to my room to change in to something more suitable for the recent nasty weather that had just picked up outside. Pulling my hoodie closer around my face to keep out the biting wind, I headed out to the car and made my way over to Jennifer's, so nervous about what was to come that it was almost making me sick.

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Pulling up in the drive, I could see that Jennifer's bedroom light was on, and made my way over to the house. As I walked slowly in the shadows thrown by the moon, I thought back to when we were kids and how whenever I'd come over to stay the night, our mums would stand talking by the front door, and I'd run around the side of house to climb through Jennifer's open bedroom window to find her waiting for me, with a beautiful smile drawn wide on her young face. It was something that used to thrill our little seven-year-old selves, like it was something private that no one else could get in on. Of course, as we got older and climbing through windows was no longer socially acceptable, I took to using the door; the little step that Jennifer and I made out of old crates years before, long forgotten.

I don't know what it was, but something was pulling me towards the light of Jennifer's room, like I was a moth and it was the flame. Stopping outside, I noticed that the crates were still there, rooted to the spot with grass and wild flowers. Lifting my gaze, I saw that her window was open and I felt my heart skip a beat. She normally leaves it cracked slightly in cold weather to let some fresh air in, but never all the way open like it was right now. I tried to hold back the thought that she couldn't possibly have opened it for me, but despite that, I felt myself climbing onto the now creaking crates, drawn by the same force that brought me here in the first place. Looking in, I could see that Jennifer was watching TV, distracted by whatever mindless infomercial was showing at this time of night. Taking my opportunity, I hoisted myself through the window and dropped down softly on the other side. Realising that Jennifer still hadn't noticed me, I sucked in a calming breath, cleared my throat and called out to her.

'Hi'.

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**What a quick turn around I've had! I think this might be the shortest chapter of the lot, but I think it sets the scene nicely for the last (and much longer) chapter to come. Being that I want to get it perfect, I expect it'll be a few days, maybe even a couple of weeks before I get the chance to upload it. Please be patient, I do so enjoy your company and I wouldn't want you to miss the end!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello again! So here's the last chapter…I think I've managed to cover everything that I wanted to, so I hope it gives the closure I was wanting to give. I better just throw in once more that the only thing here that belongs to me is the story.**

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Flopping down on my bed, I reached out for the remote and turned on the TV; some lame infomercial lit up the screen and it wasn't long before it lost my attention. My meeting with Chip had been playing on repeat all afternoon and no amount of shitty TV was going to make it stop. While absently watching some guy with a mullet try to sell fitness stuff, I let out a sigh at the thought of the conversation Chip and I had earlier about what went wrong between Needy and me. Since it happened, there hasn't been a day that I haven't thought about my fight with her, but over the last little while it's like it occupies less of my time. Instead of thinking about it all day, I've managed to get it down to _nearly_ all day; it's not that I'm trying to forget it or anything; it's just that it depresses me too much to think about it for too long. I was almost winning in trying to push it a little bit further back in my mind, and then Chip showed up; fantastic, happy, lovable, adorable Chip. God I hate him.

The thing is though, he really got to me and I sure as hell wasn't expecting that. I'd figured I'd been doing really well at hiding how hurt I actually was about everything, until he started quizzing me about what went down between Needy and I. He followed me around the fields during gym class like some lost dog until I ended up caving in. I told him that we weren't friends anymore, that it just didn't work out between us; of course, I didn't tell him exactly why Needy and I weren't friends anymore. As much fun as it might've been to see his round, smiley face drop at just how _in to _each other Needy and I really were, I knew it wasn't my place to tell him. That, and it's not like I need to give Needy another reason to hate me.

Turning my gaze to the television again, I noticed that the mullet guy was still excitedly trying to peddle his wares and became aware of my room being a little too warm. Forcing myself up off the bed, I made my way over to the window on legs that were still a little shaky from the laps I'd run earlier. I opened it just a few inches, like I'd normally do, even if it was practically freezing outside. I paused for a moment then, before I opened it all the way, shivering both at the sudden chill and from the feeling of the curtains as they danced around me in the breeze. I couldn't say what made me open the window all the way, but as I made my way back to bed, more comfortable now from not feeling so overheated, I remembered that it was something

Needy and I used to do years ago whenever she'd stay over. We were just kids discovering the world back then, so unsure of just where we fitted in to everything, but when we were together, none of that stuff mattered. There were no bullies, no kids questioning why we were friends. It didn't matter that I didn't have a dad, or that Needy didn't have the nice things that I did. It was just the two of us.

Hearing something outside my window, I snapped my head away from the TV to see if anything was out there, lifting myself up on my elbows and squinting out in to the darkness. When I didn't hear anything else, I dropped down and turned back to the screen, depressed at the thoughts of Needy invading my mind and desperate to think about anything else, even if it was some machine that was meant to make my butt really tight.

'Hi'. The voice sounded distant, but even in my current state of mind-numbness, it still made me jump. Looking over to where it came from, I sat up as I saw a dark figure standing by the window. As my eyes adjusted to the relative darkness away from the brightness of the TV screen, I realised who it was that was standing in front of me.

'Holy shit Needy! What the fuck are you doing? Christ, you nearly gave me a fucking heart attack'.

'I came to see you. I need to talk to you'. Needy dropped her hood as she stepped away from the window and for the first time, I took in what she was wearing.

'What, dressed like a goddamn axe murderer?' She had kitted herself out in sweats, a hoodie, a pair of Converse and fingerless gloves, like the kind hobos wear. Oh, and it was all in varying shades of black. No, not creepy at all.

'Well it's really cold out tonight. Besides, it's not exactly like I thought I'd actually end up in your room or anything', she said, taking off her gloves. As I looked at her more closely, I noticed that her cheeks were more rosy than usual, I guessed from the cold. The thing that really caught my attention though were her lips. They had a blue tinge to them, and in that instant, I wanted nothing more than to warm them with my own. Shaking the thought from my mind, I patted the space next to me, letting her know that it was okay to get a little closer to me.

As Needy came to join me on the bed though, I immediately regretted my invitation. It'd been so long since we'd been this close, and having her this near to me was almost too much. Things I'd never really taken much notice of before, like her shampoo, body wash or the scent of her perfume, were mixing in to some intoxicating combination that was simultaneously drawing me closer to her and making me back away for air. Despite Needy saying that she came here to talk, she wasn't exactly spilling her soul to me, but then, I wasn't really doing any better. I suppose neither of us really knew what to say. It didn't matter that we'd been friends since we were knee high and still had training wheels on our bikes, all of that went AWOL after the fight. It sounds weird to say, but it's like our history didn't matter; right now we're like two kids on their first date, or the family at dinner after Uncle Frank managed to somehow insult everyone present. In other words, awkward doesn't even begin to cover it.

'So', Needy began, 'I know things haven't been great between us lately, but I want you to know that I forgive you'. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at that, but I stopped short of laughing in her face.

'Jesus Needy, there's no need to be so J.V about it all', she looked hurt by what I'd said, but I wasn't going to let myself feel bad over it. 'Look, the truth is we're too far in for all this apologising bullshit. You know it just as much as I do'. Needy looked at me with something like recognition in her eyes and I knew she understood where I was coming from. 'A friendship like ours, it's really something special and I kind of hate myself sometimes because it's taken me so long to get that, you know?' I stood from my bed and went to stand by the window, giving Needy some space to think about what was going on. Truthfully, I didn't even really know what was going on right now. I don't know if things will ever be the same between the two of us, but I'm hoping like hell that they will be. As I leant against the wall though, letting the frigid air drifting in from outside soothe me, I looked back over at Needy and I knew there was no way I was going to let her go.

Needy settled herself on to the bed more, bringing her legs up under her chin and wrapping her arms around them before she replied to me. 'Things got bad between us Jen, I mean like, real bad. Honestly, until tonight, I'd pretty much made myself believe that I was never going to talk to you again'. Hearing Needy say that, I felt my heart sink, but I knew she was telling the truth. We both fucked up, big time. 'We were idiots to think things could stay the same between us after what happened back at mine that night. I don't know why I didn't say anything back then'. Her voice faded and it was now that I noticed the silent tears staining her cheeks. I struggled to stay put, my fingertips and toes were practically aching with the effort it was taking to hold back my desire to go over and comfort her, but I could tell she wasn't finished talking just yet.

Sniffling, Needy swiped at the tears on her cheek with her sleeve. 'I guess I just didn't want to risk losing you, I suppose I figured that just having you around would be good enough'. Her voice was so small; I had to strain to hear it. 'You mean the world to me Jennifer. I was willing to do whatever it took to keep you close to me, even if I knew that we couldn't go on like that forever'. Her words cut deep, because I knew they were true. 'I've thought about you and about us every day since the fight and it hurt so much. The thing that made it worse, was that I knew you were feeling the same way. You hid it better than I did sure, but even from a distance, I could tell that you weren't the same. As angry as I might've been at you, it had nothing on the pain I felt every time you passed me in the hall'. Everything she was saying was exactly spot- on and I could feel the burning tracks of the tears down my own cheeks as I looked at her.

'Needy', I began, stepping away from my place by the window and closer to her, but she cut me off before I could continue.

'When I couldn't ignore the way I felt about you anymore, when I couldn't deal with all the hurt, I went to see Chip'. There's that fucking name again! Dread washed over me and I began to worry; _Needy's just here to tell me she's sticking with Chip, she's just going to rip my goddamn heart out all over again._ I stopped a few feet from my bed, not able to bring myself to go any closer to her, preparing for the worst. 'Jen', her voice was still soft, but crystal clear now, 'Chip broke up with me'. I wasn't sure exactly what I'd just heard, but there was no denying the relief that washed over me the instant the words hit my ears.

'Jen? You okay?' Needy's voice broke through my daze and I all I could do was nod feebly at her. 'Good. You just look like you regressed back to the night of the fire. You know, all silent and still and…weird'.

'I'm better than okay Needs' I chuckled, 'but how're you handling it? Even though I hate Chip, you guys were pretty tight. He was good for you'. My heart was practically beating out of my chest as I realised that we could still rescue _us_, and I had to fight to keep the smile off my face as I quizzed Needy about her break up.

'I'm handling it better than I thought, I guess because I knew it was inevitable, you know? I actually went over there to break up with him, I just couldn't lie to him anymore'.

'But?'

'He beat me to it. He said that he talked to you about what was going on between us, said you seemed just as upset about it as I was'. I must admit that surprised me, I was sure he'd just been starting at my tits the whole time. 'Jen, he was doing this because he could tell we were miserable without each other, and he couldn't stand to see me like that anymore. Chip said that he's not going to pretend that he understands the little bond thing we've got going on, but he knows that he can never match it'.

'Damn straight he can't!' I replied, and though a small smile pulled at Needy's lips, I could sense there was something she wasn't telling me. 'What else happened Needy?' I'm not sure why, but I suddenly saw red, 'he didn't try anything on you did he? I swear if he did-'.

'Jennifer', Needy interjected, 'nothing happened. He just said something else is all'. I didn't say anything, just went and sat on my bed, so close to Needy our knees were almost touching. She seemed a little nervous and cleared her throat before continuing. 'He said he didn't mean it in a gay way, but that he thought that I love you more than him, because we've been friends so long'. Needy dipped her chin and some of her hair fell over her shoulder, forming a curtain around her face that meant I couldn't read her expression. My heart was beginning to beat a little faster as I thought about how to reply. In the end, I asked what seemed like the simplest question.

'Do you?' I was nervous myself now and madly hoping that Needy wouldn't pick up on it. The seconds it took for her to respond felt like years and despite the fact that there was no need for it, I felt myself growing impatient.

Needy nodded at first, but it was so slight that I'm not sure I even really saw it. 'I do. I love you so much Jen, more than you know'. She was looking at me now, her eyes filled with fresh tears, but with something in them telling me that this was real.

'In a 'gay way'?' I already knew the answer to that question, but it was so priceless, I just had to ask. I have to hand it to Chip; he certainly has a way with words.

'In every way', came Needy's reply and I couldn't hold myself back any longer. Closing the small distance between us, I crushed my lips to hers, hungrily seeking out more of her. As we fell back against the pillows, I mumbled to Needy that I'd have to remember to thank Chip. As much as he really grates on me, I'll give credit where it's due; if it wasn't for what he did earlier tonight, Needy and I would probably still be avoiding each other.

As our kiss got progressively more heated, I couldn't help but think back to the night in Needy's room, where we realised everything for the first time. As similar as the circumstances might be, I knew we were both completely different people now. We'd both experienced something completely overwhelming, we'd both been hurt, and now we were both working to piece it back together.

I pulled away from her briefly. 'Needy?' There was something I needed to be sure of.

'Yeah?' Her voice sounded far away, and it was a struggle to stay away from her.

'Are we doing this? I mean, are we going to give it try?' My voice was cracking, but I had to know what her answer was.

'Like, are we going to be a couple?' I nodded. 'Jen, you shouldn't even have to ask that. Ever since our first kiss in my room that night, it's all I've wanted. I was just scared of losing you if I mentioned it and you weren't in to it'. She was crying now, and I felt the tears on my own cheeks as she spoke. 'You know it won't be easy though, right? People around here aren't exactly the most progressive bunch'.

'Is anything ever easy?' I replied. 'Besides, it's not like half the kids at school think we've secretly been together for years anyway. I think they think that's why I'm friends with you'.

'What, like I'm a good lay?' Needy's laughter filled my room and I joined in with her. 'Well, am I?' Her gaze was suddenly serious, her voice heavy with lust, all signs of laughter gone. I became aware of the dull throbbing between my legs and realised that I didn't want to draw this out longer than I already had.

'The best'. And with that, I closed the gap between us again, drawing Needy as close to me as I possibly could. 'I'm never letting you go Needy, and I won't let you let go of me either'.

'Never even crossed my mind'. I felt the smile on her lips as she pressed them to mine again, dragging her hands under my shirt at the same time. As her fingers closed around the clasp of my bra, undoing it, I know that this will be different to our first time. There's no time for nerves or assurances now, only the passion we feel. Pulling off my shirt, I let my bra fall from my shoulders and Needy's hands are on me, her burning fingers driving me wild.

Grabbing at the zip of her hoodie, I dragged it open, slightly disappointed to see that she's wearing a shirt underneath. I mumble at her to take it off, not wanting to break away from her. With her shirt and bra removed, I move my fingers to the waistband of her sweats, pulling them down, too impatient to wait. As Needy kicks her pants off, I go to take my own off and catch her eye, seeing for the first time tonight a lust I hadn't seen in them since the night of the fire.

'Hurry up', was all she could manage, her voice husky. I didn't bother replying, preferring to let my now naked body do the talking. I roll us over so that I'm top, my right leg resting between her open thighs and I smile as I remember that this is the same position we were in _that_ night. I moved my hand slowly down between her legs and using my leg for leverage, pushed two fingers inside of her. The moan that left Needy's lips was indescribable, but I decided if anything, it sounded like pure sex, and it was all for me. I set a steady rhythm, not wanting to go too fast and have it all end too soon, but I wasn't exactly in the mood for teasing either.

I was losing myself in Needy, it was like every part of her was invading my senses and I swear that if I wasn't near her like I was right now, I probably wouldn't be able to function properly. I became aware that I was grinding against her leg ever so slightly, desperate for friction and at that moment, I looked up at Needy to find her staring at me intently. Without saying a word, I watched her left hand as it loosened its grip on my sheets and made its way slowly, teasingly down her stomach, stopping to rest just above my plunging fingers.

'Stop', she breathed out, clearly struggling to control herself. 'Move over. I want to touch you'. I did as she commanded, not wanting to waste another second. As Needy pushed a finger in to me, her lips caught mine, stifling my moan. I began my movements again, revelling in the feel of being inside her. I pulled her closer to me, wanting to create more friction for the both of us; I was close and hanging on was just making me more frustrated. Needy's moans were telling me she was dangerously close too and I sped my thrusts up to help her along.

'Jen. God. So close', Needy forced out, her words punctuated by her moans and my lips on hers.

'That's it Needs. Come with me. I need you to'. I could feel how close we both were and I wanted to make sure she knew it too. Grinding my fingers in to her harder and faster, I felt Needy do the same to me, both of us working to bring each other over the edge. Seconds felt like minutes as they passed, the two of us both so desperate to tumble in to that euphoric state that comes with an orgasm. Finally, I felt Needy tighten around me and as she cried out my name, my own wave of pleasure took me over, shocking me with its intensity. Falling on to my back and breathing heavily, I looked over at Needy; her eyes were closed, a small but infinitely happy smile on her lips.

'Needy?' She looked over at me, her eyes still half closed.

'Mm?'

'I love you'. It was the first time I'd said it, well, with her awake to hear it anyway, and I knew without a doubt that I meant it with everything that I am. Needy didn't reply at first, she just made her way back over to me and placed a soft kiss on my lips before settling in against my side.

'I love you too, Jen. Sandbox love remember?' Needy yawned and I watched as her eyes drifted closed, her steady breathing beckoning me to follow. As I felt my own eyes grow heavy, I smiled up at the ceiling at the realisation that our love is something so much stronger than either of us thought, something that survived childhood fights in the sandbox to grow in to something so all-consuming, I can't imagine life without it or Needy. As I finally felt sleep wash over me, I let it carry me away with thoughts of the life we could create together, my sandbox love and I.

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**I am so sorry for keeping you all waiting so long for this, but considering it's the last chapter I figured I should spend a bit of extra time making it right. I really hope you liked the story I've put together; I can't say just how much I enjoyed writing it for you all. Special thanks go to everyone that reviewed; even the smallest of comment provide the biggest encouragement. Over the next few months – studies and work permitting - I'll be working on a few new stories, including one for **_**Black Swan**_**, so check in when you can. Thanks again!**


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